How to help your child make friends (1)

If your young child has difficulty interacting with other kids, you can help. Playing with friends is an important way for children to learn social rules such as sharing and taking turns. It’s also fun.

The key is taking small and gentle steps that encourage positive social interaction without being too pushy. You want to give your child opportunities for rewarding social experiences that will leave him wanting more rather than feeling pressured to do something he finds difficult. Your child may be shy or cautious by nature, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Rather than try to change your child’s personality, you can help him stretch just enough to discover the joys of relationships with peers.

Playdates offer a shy child a starting block for a social life. A few guidelines can increase the odds that he’ll have a good time. “If you promote a positive experience, your child is more likely to want to play again,” says Dale Walker, a professor of child development at the University of Kansas. This week we will talk about 4 tactics:

Keep playdates small. Start by inviting only one or two prospective pals to your house, preferably kids your child already knows. These children should be around your child’s age.

Keep playdates short. Between one and two hours is plenty for children this young; you don’t want to overstimulate them.

See how others do it. Watching videos or reading books about friends with your child is another low-key way to reinforce the positives of socializing.

Plan ahead. Orient the playdate around games and activities your child enjoys and is good at. This will make him more comfortable and keep him feeling good about himself. Make sure children have enough to play with and don’t necessarily have to share right off.

Next week, we will talk about 6 more tricks to help your little ones making friends.